how do i Talk About My Gambling?
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Think about who you want to talk to.
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Choose someone you trust - a friend, whānau member, or someone who makes you feel safe.
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If you’re feeling nervous, pick someone who’s likely to help you feel calmer, not judged.
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Where do you want to have the chat? Sometimes it’s easier when you’re doing something low‑key - like sharing a feed, going for a walk, or even chatting over DMs.
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Do you want anyone else there? Maybe someone you both trust, or someone who could help keep the convo comfortable.
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What do you want to talk about? Remember, it doesn’t have to be all negative. You can talk about what you’re already doing to keep gambling fun and not harmful too.
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If you’re not sure what to say, you could try something like:
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“It started as a bit of fun, but lately it’s been stressing me out. Could I talk to you about it?”
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“I’ve been thinking about my gambling and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Can I get your thoughts?”
You could also show them some of the videos from this campaign and see if they’d want to give the “What’s your Number?” challenge a go.
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There’s no right or wrong thing to say. Just be honest about how you’re feeling.
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If you’re worried, say that.
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Let them know how they could support you. For example:
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“Would you be able to hang onto my card for a bit? I think it’d help me stick to my budget.”
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“Next time we hang out, could we go somewhere without pokies?”
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Thank them for listening and let them know you appreciate their support.
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Give yourself credit — starting the convo is a big step, and there’s no rush.
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Check in with yourself: do you feel better, or would it help to talk to someone else too?
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Think about any actions you talked about and whether there’s anything you want to follow up on.
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If you need more support, check out our list of free and confidential services here.
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how do i Talk About Someone Else’s Gambling?
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Ask yourself why you want to start the convo. What’s made you concerned?
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If you’re feeling unsure, try practising what you want to say with someone you trust. It can help you feel more confident.
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Think about where to have the chat. Low‑key settings can help - sharing a feed, going for a walk, or even messaging over DMs.
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Do you want anyone else there? Maybe someone you both trust, or someone who can help keep things comfortable.
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Start gently. Try something like: “You don’t seem yourself lately - do you want to talk about it?”
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Use “I” statements, like “I’ve noticed…” or “I feel…”. This helps avoid blame and makes it easier for them to open up.
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Share specific things you’ve noticed, like mood changes, borrowing money, or pulling away from friends.
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Let them know you’re not judging, and that you understand things can be tough.
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Give them space to talk - listening matters more than having the right words.
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Ask open questions that can’t be answered with just “yes” or “no”. For example:
“I’ve noticed you don’t seem yourself lately - how have things been going?”
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Share something about your own life to help them feel safe opening up:
“I’ve been having a bit of a rough time myself lately.”
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Reassure them that no one’s judging and that you get how hard this stuff can be.
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Give them space - try not to interrupt or argue. Let the conversation flow.
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If they still don’t want to talk, you can say:
“That’s okay. I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
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Be honest about how you’re feeling. If you’re worried, say that.
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Let them know you care about them and that you’re there to support them.
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Let them know support is out there and offer to help them access it:
“There’s some really good free support available - we could check it out together if you want.” -
Remind them they’re not alone and that others have been through similar stuff:
“There are people who understand this and know how to help.” -
Be positive and supportive:
“It’s not too late to make a change. I believe in you, and I’m here with you.”
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Thank them for talking and remind them you’re there for them.
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Suggest doing non‑gambling things together, or avoiding places that might feel tough for now.
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Offer to check in again soon and see how they’re going.
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Don’t forget about yourself - make sure you’re doing okay too, and reach out for support if you need it.
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Starting the convo
Talking to someone about their gambling can feel awkward - especially when it’s someone you care about. But starting the convo can make a real difference. It shows them they’re not alone, and that support is there. Below are some tips on how to start those convos.
Looking for more help?
Sometimes you need a bit more support - whether it’s to take that first step, get help for yourself, or figure out how to support someone else who’s struggling. That’s completely okay.
That’s why we’ve teamed up with like‑minded organisations to create this campaign and connect our communities with the right support. Below, you’ll find free and confidential services you can reach out to directly.
Videos
Start the kōrero
Contact